Inundated in whole wheat toast points…..

Ffolkes,
Far be it from me to complain, but…. there’s a fly in my soup, metaphorically speaking. This, in the normal course of events, would be cause for celebration, not complaint, as it isn’t often one actually finds meat, or protein of any kind, in the soup usually served up around here, especially the metaphorical soup….. It’s generally filled with more poisonous materials and/or ingredients, calculated to bring just the right degree of nausea to whomever has the courage to consume it. Yes, we’ve always had a bit of trouble with our Metaphorical Soup of Life, so the addition of a mere fly or two shouldn’t cause too much hullabaloo, regardless of how fat and disgusting the flies may be…..

Okay, I’ll get away from those images now…. even metaphorically, flies in the soup are not the best choice for pre-breakfast imagery, as they tend to put ffolkes off their breakfast, for sure….. The most hardened gourmand is leery of talk of flies, at the best of times, and before breakfast is definitely one to avoid bringing such pictures to mind…. Eggs over easy, or lightly scrambled, don’t mix well with hairy, ugly flying insects who are known to make a habit of hanging around shit…. Tends to put one right off their feed, and with good reason….

Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to do that here…. it’s a delicate line to walk, isn’t it? That line between bringing to mind some image that will turn the stomach, and one that will make the stomach growl in anticipation, is a very thin, hard-to-see line, and often gets crossed over inadvertently, by even the most careful of writers… which would NOT describe me, I’m sure….  I do try to keep from causing anyone to actually boot, but, I guess I missed it that time, eh? C’est la vie, as the Frogs would say…..

Note: to any Frenchmen, or women, who might conceivably read this…. the use of the word Frogs is in no way intended as a slight; I’m just copying my British brethren, who are known to have a large degree of disrespect for the French, dating back centuries, to one or another of the wars y’all fought with each other over whatever nonsensical issues either of you could come up with…. Any who, I just like the way it sounds, and from me you may take it as a form of endearment, okay? Okay….

Well…. I don’t know how, but I seem to have blathered long enough to make this a legal intro section…. In looking back over the above paragraphs, (I know, I could have used the simpler, “in retrospect”, but, we’re trying to fill up space here, so back off….), I see a certain lack of, shall we say, discretion, or perhaps, common sense would describe it better….

Whatever it is, there is too much of it, or not enough, or something…. But, you know what? It’s done, and I’m not going back to start over for anything, not at this point, six or so paragraphs in, even if not a single line of it makes any particular sense…. I told y’all at the beginning this isn’t for wimps, so, buckle up, hang on, and we’ll eventually get to a point where y’all can jump off…. In the meantime…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.” — Janet Long

I’ve also heard it said that insanity is a sane reaction to an insane world, which, ultimately, comes to the same thing. I’ve spoken before on this, as it is a subject near and dear to my own life, having spent many years working in the mental health field, as a therapist, and as a patient, after I contracted mental illness myself… In spite of what you might hear, it IS contagious, in a certain sense, as the constant exposure to its presence in others tends to cause stress in the therapist over time, stress that eventually brings the issue home to roost in those who either become too immersed in dealing with it, or don’t have the emotional strength to resist the pressure of the work.

“I’m probably crazy.  Either that or its just the hormones.” — Chris Pirillo (chris@lockergnome.com)

In my own case, it was a matter of immersion, combined with long term exposure to the most violent aspects of the business, that eventually broke down my ability to resist the onslaught of depression. What many do not realize about mental illness is that, once present, the condition does not, like traditional, medical conditions or illnesses, get completely cured, and then go away, leaving us with a natural inner defense, as our immune systems learn the characteristics of each disease, and the procedure to eradicate it from the body.

There are parallels, of course, both in the etiology, and in the treatment, of mental and medical illnesses, but, due to the extreme complexity of how the mind functions, and the extreme sparsity of our understanding of how it actually works, we have yet to learn how those parallels can be of use in the treatment of illnesses of the mind, at least, not to any significant degree that guarantees success. Psychiatry, and psychology, remain areas of knowledge still in their infancy, in terms of how much we understand…. or, more accurately, in terms of how little we understand….

“In the struggle for existence, it is only on those who hang on for ten minutes after all is hopeless, that hope begins to dawn.” — G. K. Chesterton, The Speaker 2-2-1901

While not (necessarily) directed at mental illness, this statement describes partially how the struggle against it can be of a particularly grim nature, difficult to avoid, and once met, difficult to be rid of its imprecations. It takes a kind of inner strength, and courage, that is hard for most people to find or develop, in order to apply, and maintain, the effort needed to overcome depression, and the debilitating lethargy, hopelessness, and unreasoning fear that comes with it. It is a special kind of strength, that must be ALWAYS be on tap for use, if not constantly applied; depression, and its hold over us, doesn’t take breaks unless forced, and that force must come from within us; it isn’t to be found in drugs, or anything else outside our own awareness.

Other people cannot GIVE us this strength, but, they can help us to find it within ourselves, sometimes merely by their presence…. Dogs, cats, and other animals also know how to supply whatever it is that helps us find that little place in us where our strength lies. In a certain sense, I suppose, one could say that such interactions, with people, with animals, or with the universe at large, DO supply us with the strength we need to carry on our efforts.

The positive benefits of petting a puppy, or having a purring cat sit on one’s lap, or of a kind word from a stranger, have an effect on our inner selves much greater than would seem the case for such simple acts. I can think of no quicker way to find our way out of a depressive fog than to have a puppy start chewing on our shoelaces, or having a kitten paw at one’s face in affection, or, most effective of all, getting a hug from a loved one. No words need be spoken, no ideas exchanged, and no coins handed over…. but, our fear is soothed, our hurts are healed, and we can find the inner strength to go on resisting the pull of the darker side of existence…..

“Love is all you need….” ~~ John Lennon

Strange, isn’t it? Sometimes, John got it so right, you wondered why you ever thought life was so complicated…. The only problem is, by its nature, and by the nature of the people who inhabit reality with us, the world tends to make it very hard to keep love intact. The ways of the world are so complex, and fast, and confusing, that people lose track of what is real, and what is illusion, and end up chasing those things in life that will leave them cold and alone, instead of concentrating on what is real, and lasting, and will bring them joy for their entire life.

We all end up doing both, being aware of what is real, and what is not, to a certain degree, and to varying degrees, succeed in acquiring joy in our lives; at other times, we suffer the results of our folly, with pain and fear…. The trick, I guess, is to know which is which, and how to bring them about according to our own will, not the will of anyone, or anything, else…. With that knowledge in your pocket, and a couple of dollars, you can get a pretty good cup of coffee…..

“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” — Henry Miller
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Somewhere inside me, buried deep in my mind, in some dusty hallway where no one has gone for a long time, there is a poem. I can see it, sitting there on the table inside the room in that hallway, waiting for me to find it, and bring it to light…. I can FEEL it sitting there, calling me, but, at this moment in time, I don’t have any idea in WHICH hallway it might be, much less which room in the hall…. I really do NEED to get a poem out soon; the pressure is getting uncomfortable, but, there’s no forcing it, or it will turn to sludge, so, I’m going to have to deal with it, and so must you….

In defense, though, I’ll put in one of my recent efforts in that arena, one I particularly like, so, if you do, too, that’s great…. If not, well, just remember… Any honest criticism is welcome, any praise is lapped up like cream…. Any less than enthusiastic responses will be cheerfully ignored, and any flaming will be revenged beyond your wildest imaginings… Just so’s you know….

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This pearl got away from me, somehow…. It started out really well, then Smart Bee took me on a tour of really bad stuff, with a few minorly shiny gems here and there. Then, when it got to the improper number of six pearls, it died out altogether, and I’m about ready to give up…. Except, I KNOW the perfect finishing pearl is out there, somewhere… the pearl that will bring these all into focus, and cure them of their apparent complete lack of relation to each other…. One more try…..

“Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.” — Oscar Wilde

“In the republic of mediocrity genius is dangerous.” — Robert G. Ingersoll

“Do you know Presidents talk to the country the way men talk to women?  They say, Trust me, go all the way with me, and everything will be all right. And what happens?  Nine months later, you’re in trouble!” — Murphy’s Discovery

“How did the great rivers and seas gain dominion over the hundred lesser streams?  By being lower than they.” — Lao Tzu

“If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.” — Isaac Asimov

“A man cannot be wise enough to be a great artist without being wise enough to wish to be a philosopher. A man cannot have the energy to produce good art without having the energy to wish to pass beyond it. A small artist is content with art; a great artist is content with nothing except everything.” — G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

Well, it almost beat me, coach, but, I held my ground, and finally won through to victory…. It took what seemed like forever, but, I guess, at this hour, anything seems longer… and I did find the correct finishing pearl for this group. It was actually quite simple, as most things are eventually….

“If you are out of trouble, watch for danger.” — Sophocles

See? Easy peasy….. Well, simple anyway, and the point it all makes at the end is worth whatever it took, right? Right…. Okay, so all it really does is keep the insurance folks off my back… that’s a good thing, for me….. And, besides, being obscure and/or unfathomable is a big part of what we do around here, so, it fits right in, regardless of the risk of straining something….
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Okay, that tears it…. I have to confess my sins…. None of the above (in section three… the rest is valid….) has any real meaning, beyond its own internal structure, and I lied about the point…. there isn’t one, that I can see…. I’m just so disappointed in Smart Bee for being so…. well, for letting me down today…. I’m sure it won’t happen again, but, it kind of hurts, y’know…. I depend on it so heavily, I don’t know quite how to handle it when it goes limp on me.

I’ll get over it though, and at least there is a small degree of humor than can be wrung out of all this…. If nothing else, you can laugh at yourself, for reading it all the way to the end…. I mean, I HAVE to, since I’m writing it, and, believe me, I will, and am, laughing at myself, but, nothing exists to keep y’all from bailing any time, so I’m surprised to find you still here, reading away….  Just kidding, of course…. sort of….

Now that I’ve completely screwed the pooch, let’s see how it all hangs together…..  Okay, well, I’ve seen, and done, worse…. Besides, I’ve been up and working on this for damn near three hours now, and it’s only 0715, so, I’m not going back and doing it over, nope, not me…. We’ll all just have to deal with it, as is….  Ah, hell, at least nobody died, or took any particularly grievous hits, except maybe, my ego…..   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….